Sex Cells

Sex Cells
Performed by: Bleadon Players
Venue: Bleadon Coronation Hall
Written by: Anna Longaretti
Directed by: Peter Gibbons
Date: 26/09/2025
Noda Rep: Mike Purnell

I was so excited to not only be going to a new venue to me, but also a new
club to Noda. I’d like to extend you a very warm welcome to our Noda Family.
Intriguing title. What sort of night was I in for?
Sex Cells is a tender, witty, and emotionally resonant play that explores the
complexities of motherhood, identity, and human connection—all set within
the unlikely backdrop of a sex-toy call centre. The play cleverly balances
humour and heartbreak, offering audiences a deeply human story wrapped in
sharp dialogue and quirky charm.
Here we find our very well cast five characters working at Aphrodite, a
company that sells adult toys. Each character brings a unique perspective on
womanhood and motherhood: Tiffany, the carefree party girl; Janice, the
overwhelmed mother of five; Sylvie, desperate to conceive; Lilian, a mature
woman estranged from her son; and Mr. Causeway, their awkward but
endearing manager with a soft spot for Lilian. Their interactions are both
hilarious and poignant, revealing the emotional undercurrents beneath their
everyday routines.
What makes Sex Cells so compelling is its ability to tackle serious themes—
fertility struggles, parental regret, loneliness—with a light touch. The humour
never felt forced or crude, even in a setting ripe for cheap laughs. Instead, the
comedy arises naturally from the characters’ quirks and the absurdity of their
situation. Lines like “dildos come in small, medium or liar” are cheeky without
being gratuitous.
I must say the performances were uniformly strong. Actors embodied their
roles with authenticity and nuance, making it easy to empathize with their
joys and sorrows. I must say Lilian delivered a standout performance,
balancing bravado with vulnerability. Mr Causeway was delightfully awkward,
reminiscent of a blend between Jim Broadbent and Colin Firth.

Visually, the production is simple but effective. The set design—complete

with labelled boxes, desks, the coffee station was perfect, whilst the white
board was extremely funny with a cheeky tone while reinforcing its themes. I
must say I did find some of the scene changes took rather a long time, it was
a shame as the dialogue mostly was at a cracking pace but I must say the
music chosen was excellent. Well thought through.
Make up was very natural and went with the characters. Mr C’s aging was
done extremely well. Maybe a couple of more small costume changes? Mr C
could have had another cardy in act one and maybe a change of skirt for
Tiffany but I do realise these would have been super quick.
Ultimately, Sex Cells is a rare gem of a play that makes you laugh, cry, and
reflect—all within two hours. Whether you’re a parent, child, or simply
someone navigating the messiness of life, this play offers something relatable
and real. It’s a celebration of the flawed, funny, and fiercely loving people we
all are.

Mr Causeway
In a play like this it would be very easy to be over shadowed by the louder
more eccentric characters, but actually Tim brought a quiet strength and
understated charm to the role making Mr Causeway a subtle yet vital
presence. There was a nice warmth to your interactions particularly with Lily
and this added depth to your character. Although mostly on the peripheral of
the action, you were always engaged. A lovely, considered portrayal that
added grace and humanity to a strong ensemble piece.

Tiffany
Charlotte managed to capture Tiffany’s playful and natural charm with great
timing. You balanced the characters light-hearted exterior with subtle
glimpses of vulnerability making her feel real and relatable. You certainly
made your mark among other strong actors.

Lily
I really enjoyed your performance. You gave us quiet strength and emotional
honesty delivering a beautifully understated performance. It felt very real and
natural. You had great timing with the gentle humour woven through your
lines and delivered in a way that had the spirit of Victoria Wood. Every gesture
and glance felt purposeful yet unforced. An excellent actress and a joy to
watch.

Janice
This was a heartfelt and convincing performance bringing real depth to the
role. You came across as genuine and grounded, capturing the characters
emotional struggles. We saw lots of sensitivity in the more serious moments,
whilst keeping Janice’s warmth and humour alive. Though there were a few
moments of hesitation, I was genuinely impressed by how swiftly you
bounced back. It showed real poise and commitment. A truly touching
performance.

Sylvie 
This was another confident and engaging performance. You gave us the
sharp tongued and outspoken Sylvie using the humour to mask her pain, but
you also showed us as the play unfolded your vulnerability emerge especially
when you opened up about the loss of your child. This was very moving. I
liked how one minute you gave us sarcasm and then sorrow the next in a way
that felt very natural and heartfelt.
Always be aware when using an accent that once your secure (which you
were) the audience needs to tune in. It would have been perfect if you’d just
slowed down a tad (probably me being a bit deaf!!)
All in all this was a sincere and moving portrayal that added heart to the
production.

Director (Peter Gibbon)
Well done Peter, you brought real care and attention to this production. An
unknown play to me, but you guided the cast with sensitivity and focus. The
characters all felt believable and the emotional moments were handled with
honesty and warmth. Your direction seemed clear and effective with all the
actors connecting very naturally with each other. Great use of space which
was limited but utilised well. Although some scene changes were a little slow
the overall flow of the play remained strong. A well directed show that
balanced humour and emotion with confidence. Well done.
It was a pleasure coming for the first time to see The Bleadon Players.
Thank you for your warm hospitality.
Best wishes
Mike

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