'Allo 'Allo 2 - The Camembert Caper

There is nothing better than a trip to a nice warm theatre for a good chuckle when the clocks have gone back and winter is just around the corner! And a good chuckle is exactly what we got courtesy of Stafford Players with their latest production of ‘Allo ‘Allo 2 - The Camembert Caper at Stafford Gatehouse Theatre on Thursday 6th November.

Based on the 1980’s classic BBC TV Series written by Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft, this sequel to the original stage version premiered in 2013. As we walked into the theatre we were greeted with a selection of popular instrumental accordion melodies being played to create the perfect ‘ambiance française’ and set the mood for the evening before the actual fun and frolics began. It was also an ideal opportunity to get our first glimpse of the ingeniously designed composite set which stretched across the whole Gatehouse Theatre stage and cleverly incorporated not only René’s Café complete with full bar, a door to the town square and a staircase leading upstairs to Madam Fanny’s bedroom, but also a walled area stage right which doubled, with minor changes to the décor and furniture, as the Colonel’s HQ and Herr Flick’s Dungeon.

The basic plot of this new stage version remains amazingly similar to its predecessor and features most of the treasured characters and tomfoolery that the BBC first brought to our television screens in the 1980’s, but while René and Edith had ended up becoming custodians of the infamous portrait of ‘The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies’, they had hidden it in such a safe place that they couldn’t remember where it was! To make matters worse, General Von Klinkerhoffen had got wind of its disappearance and was now demanding compensation of fifty thousand francs which he had selfishly planned to help fund a life of personal luxury after the war had ended!

And so the scene was set for of an evening of sheer comedy chaos, made even more hilarious with the two British airman still being hidden and awaiting repatriation, a British agent disguised as a policemen trying to speak French which nobody else could understand and the General’s compensation hidden in one of several blocks of Camembert cheese, another of which contained a bomb!

As René Artois, the main protagonist and bumbling café owner, Jason Greenwood gave an exceptional performance. From his hilarious introduction at the very start of the play, he maintained an excellent comic timing which never faltered throughout the entire evening. Helen Harrison also gave an equally strong portrayal as Edith, René’s tone-deaf wife, especially in her deliberately badly sung version of ‘Chanson d'amour’ which had the audience in fits of laughter as she cavorted around the stage endeavouring to keep the German officers and other café customers entertained, most of who were scrambling to find the nearest thing to stuff into their ears to avoid listening!

In the iconic roles of Officer Crabtree (Joseph Jenkinson) and Michelle Dubois (Andrea Keady) worked brilliantly together. Posing as the French policeman we’ve all come to love and deliberately still not making a very good job of his pronunciation, Joseph had us all in stitches with virtually every line he spoke. I nearly fell off my seat when he squeezed into Fanny’s bedroom with René, Michelle and the British airmen to announce that he had managed to get his hands on many pairs of ‘knockers’! – he had actually been collecting silk ‘knickers’ to make a hot air balloon to aid the airmen’s escape! Andrea also gave a fine and most enjoyable performance as Michelle with her trademark beret and legendary catchphrase ‘Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.” As the main agent for the French resistance she had devised a series of increasingly hair-brained plans which never seemed to work out very well, just further adding to the fun and games.

Other strong performances came from Rachel Chapman as Yvette Carte-Blanche, René’s secret lover, and Shaney Swift as Mimi Labonq who clearly used her charms to realise her ambitions and get close to René. Linet Carter also gave a short but fine performance as Edith’s bed-ridden mother, Madame Fanny La Fan. Her shocked expression when her bedknobs flashed to indicate a radio message was coming in from England and the subsequent disruption it caused to get the transmitter from underneath the bed was hilarious.

When it came time to entertain the German General and his colleagues at his party in Café René, nobody was left out with even René himself, Officer Crabtree and the two British airmen all masquerading as women and joining the dancers to make up numbers in a lively and risqué Can Can which nearly brought the house down with the cheers and applause from a delighted audience.

As the very smartly uniformed German officers – General Von Klinkerhoffen (Stuart Moyes), Colonel Von Strohm (Warwick Hawkins), Captain Geering ( Craig Davies) and Lieutenant Gruber (Craig Chesters) all played their roles well with very believable German accents. So too did Mark Datson as Herr Flick and Holly Spencer as Helga Geerhart. Their on/off secret love for each other was particularly amusing and well portrayed as did their comical antics in the counterplot to intercept and steal the fifty-thousand francs the General was expecting.

John Hill was quite superb as Monsieur Alphonse, the local funeral director, as was Dave Dinsdale as Roger LeClerc, the master of disguise who we still spotted in several scenes, always giving himself away by announcing “It is I, Leclerc!”

And of course, no performance of ‘Allo 'Allo would be complete without the two shot-down  British airmen who by now must be getting exceptionally frustrated by some of the bizarre and feeble attempts that have been conjured up to get them back to Blighty. We stand to salute you Paul Warrilow and Saul Molloy!

The whole production had obviously been well rehearsed as the quick-fire comedy dialogue never wavered for one minute throughout the whole performance. This said, there were just a few times I found it difficult to hear some of the one-liners, but this didn’t detract in any way from my enjoyment.

All the costumes looked superb and in perfect vogue for the era - typically French with lots of colour and horizontal stripes. There are too many to highlight individually and I have already spoken of the German army uniforms but just a quick mention of René’s waitresses in their smart white blouses, aprons and black skirts, Michelle in her camel coat and beret, Monsieur Alphonse looking very dapper in his black tail suit and top hat and, of course, René himself looking every bit the French Café owner in his smart white shirt, black tie and waistcoat and white apron.

The script demanded quite a few scene changes but all were managed with great speed and efficiency by an obviously well organised stage crew. The more complex changes to the hinged stage flats in the German area down right were particularly speedy. And all under the beady eye of the portraited Uncle Adolf looking over them! I particularly liked the dimmed blue LED lighting and further excerpts of the accordion melodies to cover each change.

The production was directed by David Harfield. The Stage Manager was Lisa Richardson-Lewty and Kate Sullivan was responsible for the set design and build.

Thank you so much for inviting me to your latest production and for your warm welcome. I greatly look forward to making the relatively short journey from Stone to Stafford to meet Nell Gwynn in March next year.

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