The Flint Street Nativity

A hilarious, yet also thought-provoking, school nativity play, which must have been great fun to be part of. Who gets which part? Why wasn’t I Mary? Why do I have to walk around with this ass’s head on all the time? It’s not fair that I’m only the Innkeeper while that creep Joseph get to be with Mary all the time! Why oh why did my Mum make my wings so much better than Gabriel’s?

The Flint Street Nativity originated as a Christmas TV production in 1999. The story is based on memories collected over 10 years from members of playwright Tim Firth’s family and friends who were teachers. Tim Firth’s very amusing note in the programme states that: ‘For teachers, the casting of a nativity is a lesson in social engineering and appeasement’. He goes on to say: ‘The stinging lesson learned first hand by children prepares them for one of the toughest lessons they will ever have to face in adulthood: the part you end up with in life may not be the part you feel you deserve.’

Marvellously observed, very very funny, but also full of very sad moments, this is a play I would very much like to see again, there was so much in it.

Guildburys can always be relied upon to produce an interesting and well-designed programme, and this was no exception. There was a piece on the history of the Nativity Play. An interesting profile of Tim Firth and the Director’s Teacher’s Report were super. Tim Firth’s own article: ‘The Truth Behind the Tea Towel’ was wonderful. There was also a piece on the creation of the set ‘Creating a Dual Sized World’ which acknowledged the important role played by the set designers and craftspeople who built it – a rare inclusion in a programme, but one that maybe should be found more often. Charming cast photos showed the cast in their primary school days, and there was a jolly page of cracker jokes and fun facts. Last but not least was a double page spread on ‘Your Role in the School Nativity and Your Future Career, which gave some results of a 2019 research survey, saying that the role you played in the school nativity can predict what job you are likely to get in the future! All in all this was a really fine programme, 10 pages packed full of interesting and amusing reading matter, great design throughout, extremely colourful, with a front cover to die for with the (adult) heads of the cast placed on the costumed figures of children. I’ve seldom seen a better programme!

A primary school classroom with paintings all round the walls, of course, and small chairs for the pupils, a large one for the teacher. The teacher’s cupboard contained a bottle of gin, and I believe an empty one of prosecco! To the left of stage was a brightly coloured climbing frame in the playground, which came into its own for some of the more moving moments, as kids went off to be alone. The brightly coloured shed became the inn. A NASA spaceship appeared in the hands of the boy who played the Star of Bethlehem. And a huge wooden star played a prominent role too. A pull-along donkey kept falling over, and there were 2 baby Jesuses, one with glorious golden locks!

Lighting was very effective throughout, as were the sound effects. A pianist to the left of the auditorium accompanied the Christmas carols.

The Star of Bethlehem wore a star-spangled black robe and sported the silver disk of the moon on his head. The two wise men wore elegant eastern robes and headdresses (the third one was off sick). Mary and Joseph wore the appropriate apparel, as did the shepherd. King Herod looked regal, of course. The two angels had wings, naturally, but Gabriel’s were not half as impressive as the second angel’s ones, which had sparkly red and silver fairy lights on, causing much anxiety in their wearer! The Ass wore a marvellously fascinating ass’s head with realistic teeth, all made out of a cardboard box. The narrator wore his school uniform.

This production was a great team effort, finely directed by Gilly Fick. I wondered whether she found the need to swig from that gin bottle, trying to keep her class of chaotic youngsters in check! They certainly seemed to know what they were supposed to be doing MOST of the time, even if they HADN’T learned the words to the carols!

The good thing about this production was, even though the individual personalities came through very clearly, Rainbow Class was a definite entity of its own, had its own personality if you like, which many teachers will recognise. There were the characters who seemed to sail through life with not a care in the world, like Mary (Lauren Philllipou), and the Ass (Graham Russell-Price). There were the twins, Innkeeper (Tim Brown) and his sister the Shepherd (Samantha Remnant), where she kept digging at him about his unrequited love for Mary. Wise Frankincense (Jonathan Constant) dreaded having to say his lines, because of his difficulties in pronouncing them. Gabriel (Gabi King) really really really wanted to be Mary. She brought her own golden-haired doll as the ‘superior’ baby Jesus, and was delighted when it appeared that Mary was about to be ill, and SO cross, when it turned out she wasn’t. Gabriel was a nasty bully and was always playing one girl off against another. So Wise Gold (Harriet Powell) and the other angel (Claire Howes) were always bursting into tears. Dear little Angel was petrified at the fact that her mum had made her better, bigger (and even illuminated!) wings than Gabriel had. You didn’t want to get on the wrong side of Gabriel!

One poor boy, not the brightest, had to play not only Joseph, but also Herod (Eddie Woolrich). He seemed continually confused. The Star of Bethlehem (Ian McShee) was a bright spark, totally obsessed by all things scientific, especially in connection with space and space travel, because, as we repeatedly heard, his ‘Uncle Ted’ worked for NASA in America (who turned out to be his real dad, of course). The Narrator was full of insecurities, as his parents were in the process of splitting up. He was a sad little chap (all 6 foot 3 or so of him!), understandably quite emotional, but he held it together. So all human life was there, so to speak, and we quite understood why there was a bottle of gin in teacher’s cupboard. Sadly, we never saw her, though her presence was very strongly felt.

This was a great team performance. Good use was made of the stage, the play romped along. And of course, the final scene, where the parents appeared for their post-performance mince pies and nibbles revealed a lot, including who Uncle Ted was. We were SO pleased that the Narrator’s Dad had turned up and watched his son from the side of the hall. So, this was a fine play with great characters, loads of humour, but also very touching and thought-provoking.

 

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