Gasping

There’s nothing quite like a visit to the theatre to see a decent play, especially when it’s a comedy with the prospect of a good laugh to look forward to. Even more exciting is when the writer is one of the UK’s most popular authors and stand-up comedians, an enjoyable and fun-filled evening is pretty much guaranteed. And that is exactly what we got at Stafford Gatehouse’s MET Studio on the opening night of ‘Gasping’ with Stafford Players in absolute top form.

‘Gasping’ is the first play written by Ben Elton and is a humorous take on a well established and hugely successful London conglomerate which has, and I quote, “ …a profit curve wound so far round the room it looks like a Blue Peter Christmas Appeal”!

Sir Chiffley Lockheart, dominant owner and chairman of Lockheart Industries and multi-millionaire is clearly bored with making money and is desperate to find a new ‘Pot Noodle’, which in this case is nothing to do with the lunchtime snack you prepare by adding boiling water to a tub of dried vegetables and noodles, but a metaphor for a novel idea or product that creates its own market and successfully makes money in markets that were previously untapped. Sounds complicated? All will be revealed!

Enter Philip, Sir Chiffley’s top man, workaholic and a bit of a creep who, after being reminded for the umpteenth time of his bosses’ strict work ethic and success – among other things, Sir Chiff actually owns an original Rembrandt painting – he is asked to go away and come up with a new Pot Noodle. Philip and his own right-hand man, Sandy, quickly set to work and after a few sleepless nights report back with their quirky idea for making money out of selling ‘designer air’. This is to be generated by a revolutionary ‘Suck & Blow’ machine which draws in oxygen from the atmosphere, filters out all the dirty bits and then stores it for a rainy day. Sir Chiff isn’t totally convinced by the idea, but there does appear to be a glimmer of method in Philip and Sandy’s madness, so the boss gives them the green light to develop a prototype.

To the delight of the audience, the ’Suck & Blow’ machine duly arrives on stage looking like a cross between a highly polished galvanised dustbin and one of Doctor Who’s Daleks but all the development tests have proved positive and with the help of a dynamic marketing campaign spearheaded by the delightful Kirsten and enhanced with an exceptionally boozy product launch, customer feedback is good and it isn’t very long before every household in the UK and further afield is clambering to buy one. The only slight problem is that when the machine sucks in oxygen it outputs carbon dioxide, not only adding to the problems of climate change and global warming but leaving less oxygen in the atmosphere to breathe and many of the third world population and others closer to home left ‘gasping’!

The play was brilliantly directed by Stafford Player’s very own Andrea Keady who had hand-picked the small but equally brilliant cast.

As cigar-smoking Sir Chiffley Lockheart, Craig Davies gave a masterful performance making the most of his cleverly penned role and delivering the best of the gags with great relish. There were some elements of ‘Black Adder’s Melchett’ about his character, especially the cackling laugh, which greatly added to the fun. In particular, his scenes with Philip in the massage parlour and sauna with the invisible masseurs were absolutely hilarious and had the whole audience in fits. Very well done sir!

Philip, played by David Harfield, provided us with a very accomplished performance with a huge amount of dialogue delivered perfectly – and often at great speed - to suit the various situations he found himself in throughout the piece. From the slightly creepiness of his one-to-one chats with Sir Chiff to the highly charged talk of his new ‘Suck & Blow’ invention and disappointment at being rejected by the beautiful Kirsten, the continuity of David’s whole demeanour, vocal tone and timing never wavered and showed terrific acting skills. How he managed to contort his body into some of the positions in the massage parlour would have left even the most experienced of yoga enthusiasts open-mouthed!

Chris Harding’s portrayal of Sandy, Philip’s right-hand man, was also very enjoyable. A very diligent and likeable character, whilst very loyal to Philip, he never hesitated in accepting the opportunity to take over the further development and marketing of the ‘Suck & Blow’ machine when Philp’s leadership faltered. I loved his scenes with Kirsten where his sincerity and personality really shone through.

As Kirsten, the high flying and highly capable marketing guru, Bella Dalby was simply superb. She certainly knew what she was talking about and delivered a wonderfully measured performance with great pace. Her gestures and facial expressions were quite exceptional and her rejection of Philip’s affections in favour of Sandy was a highlight of the second half. I particularly loved the post honeymoon scene where she and Sandy were seated on an aircraft on the return journey from some far-away exotic location with the authentic aircraft seat in the foreground and a 3D projection of all the seats behind them on the big screen in the background.

Ruby Hollinshead had the smallest role in the piece as the television weather girl and news reporter but gave very credible performances with both.

The play doesn’t require an elaborate set; merely practical furniture and props which were used (and moved) very effectively to enhance the large number of scenes. The huge projection screen at the back of the stage was also used to great effect; at one point a window in Sir Chiff’s office, another showing a video report from the Tory Minister for the Environment – very well played Keith Minshull – and during scene changes with a celestial view of outer space. Scene change music from Pink Floyd and Abba also added greatly to the overall atmosphere as did well-recorded and administered sound effects.

Many congratulations Stafford Players and thank you for inviting me to your latest production. I didn’t leave the theatre ‘gasping’ – just smiling!

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