A Bunch of Amateurs

This is a very witty play dealing with a situation which, one feels, could almost happen. A Hollywood name, whose star is fading, finds himself, due to no fault of his own, taking on the role of King Lear at Stratford. What he only discovers, far too late, is that the Stratford in question is not the one on the Avon, but a tiny village in Suffolk. Chaos and comedy ensues, of course, yet the play is a hymn to the joys and the skills and talents involved in ‘amateur’ theatre.

The Stratford Players are in danger of losing their village barn theatre, due to dwindling revenue and loss of subsidy, to the dreaded ‘executive housing’. In order to raise awareness and hopefully audience numbers, they come up with the idea of trying to attract a Big Name to their upcoming production of Lear.

The great design on the bright yellow cover of the programme for Stratford Players ‘King Lear’ was a super device, which fooled many at first glance. With two cast profiles each (the real programme was inside), plus the Director’s Note, it made a fun read.

The simple set, with the half-timbered backdrop suggested the barn. The poster of the fundraising thermometer, with perilously few funds raised thus far, emphasised the Players’ predicament. There was a table and chairs, a large wooden chair with arms, a prop box, later a wheelbarrow, a huge staple gun, a huge umbrella and a sword. For Mary’s B and B set a pretty curtained window appeared in the breakfast room, and a simple single bed for Jefferson’s room.

Later for the performance itself, an ornate throne replaced the large wooden chair, and a golden arch represented the palace. Good use was made of one of the balconies, as the stage for the jester.

There were some super sound effects, the rain it did seem to raineth every day, the staple gun pinged, the storm raged, the fanfare sounded. Lighting was very effective throughout. Beautiful lute music introduced each scene.

Jefferson Steel looked like a Hollywood star in his shades and baseball cap. That contrasted well with the oh so English solicitor Nigel, who was of course neatly dressed at all times. Dennis always came to rehearsals in his overalls, which befitted his role as caretaker and handyman, as well as amateur thesp. Lauren looked very glamorous, in high heels and smart outfits, often with a colourful scarf. In her physiotherapist’s outfit she still looked attractive, indeed downright sexy, which cannot have helped poor Mary’s worries about her effect on Jefferson. Mary of course was the dowdy B and B lady with dreams. The Jester’s costume, once he had finally put it all on, was splendidly colourful. Once the actor’s had donned their Lear costumes, everyone was transformed and looked very fine indeed.

The production began with a projection onto the curtain of ‘King Lear by the Stratford Players’, accompanied by that beautiful lute music. The curtain opened onto the committee of the Players discussing their dire fundraising situation, looking for ideas. A famous ‘name’ was the one that sparked their imagination, much to the horror of Nigel, who had long coveted the role. Nigel, played so well by John Want, was the Players’ ‘Noda and other award winning’ main man, according of course to Nigel. Many ‘names’ turned down the Players’ request, until they finally landed at Jefferson Steel’s agent’s door. Jefferson being the faded star of so many Hollywood action movies. They were to discover, of course, that an action movie star can’t necessarily act particularly well, if at all, as Nigel would later insinuate.

The unfortunate Steel arrived at the airport to be met, not by adoring fans and a limo, but by a couple of hacks from the local paper, and Dorothy, the play’s director in her little car. He was quite perplexed to be delivered unto the Players’ rehearsal room. Following a short time of confusion, and frantic furious phonecalls to the States, and as he realised what had happened, Richard Seymour, as Steel, was brilliant as this bemused yet oh so arrogant star, who slowly gathered what his agent had arranged for him, and that he was now bound by contract. He demanded a limousine to get to his hotel, a full mini bar, a home cinema, fresh flowers every day and so on, the works. Dear Mary’s B and B, the only accommodation in the village, was of course not what he had bargained for. He petulantly made this plain to poor adoring Mary (whose knowledge of blockbuster movie stars seemed somewhat shaky!) Gayle Lafone gave us the perfect Mary, sweet, kind, perplexed, and certainly no match for the arrogant Steel. Richard Seymour impressed us all moreover with his American accent, indeed his whole demeanour was super.

The person who WAS a match for Steel, of course, was our feisty and capable director, Dorothy, a fine performance from Helen Teasdale. She soon got the measure of Steel, and was determined to get her venture to succeed. She skilfully worked her magic on Jefferson, providing him with his limo (a wheelbarrow), some supermarket flowers, a laptop for his home cinema, and so on, which finally made him smile. Steel of course knew nothing of the play, hadn’t even read it, let alone begun to learn his lines. (Nigel could barely hide his disgust – he naturally knew the play inside out.)

Dorothy skilfully manoeuvred these two through this phase, and patiently worked on Steel, so that bit by bit he began to rehearse properly and learn his lines. We felt for Dorothy, we admired her patience and her skill. At one stage she really lost her temper, but with sheer grit, determination and character, she mastered the man! And the rest of her cast, which wasn’t easy in the circumstances.

Offering some light relief was Dennis, the cheery handyman, due to play the Duke of Gloucester. He was full of bright ideas, especially regarding the gouging out of his eyes. He offered to become Steel’s ‘security entourage’ to protect him from the press, and was generally very amusing. A good performance from Rab Hemphill.

The players had managed to find a sponsor, in the shape of the local craft brewery. Lauren, the perky wife of the owner, kept appearing with samples of beer, all cleverly named to reflect the show. She was also a physiotherapist, called into action to work on Jefferson’s injured back, as it happened in his room at Mary’s B and B, with consequential results. Melanie  McCabe was great as Lauren, matter of fact and cheery.

Jefferson’s daughter Jessica turned up, her mother having gone off on honeymoon. This neglected daughter greatly resented her shallow ‘non-parent’, and treated him with the disdain we all thought he totally deserved. She also happened to be very familiar with the play, and had great acting skills. Grace Hemphill made this role her own.

Over the weeks of the rehearsals we had a catastrophic press story; a clever lawyer’s (Nigel) response; an apology (Nigel again, who’d been up to mischief); more apologies; a sudden influx of cash from the press which enabled the Players to hire real costumes for their Lear, in which they did indeed look marvellous. Jefferson and Jessica were reconciled, rather touchingly. The whole thing worked out splendidly, and the successful show was to transfer to the real Stratford, the one on the Avon.

Director Anthony Kemp had gathered a really strong cast, who were able to bring out all the nuances of character, the tensions and the humour in the piece. One character I must not forget, was the marvellous Jester, who started in a dinner suit, if I remember correctly, and gradually finished up in full motley. His interjections between scenes from the balcony were great fun, and I’m sure he had great fun wielding his enormous, what was it, a bugle or some kind of fanfare horn. Very funny, a great idea. Great work from Jonathan Constant.

A super evening, great entertainment once again from the Nomads.

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