Perfect Pitch

‘Perfect Pitch’ written by observational writer John Godber, tells the story of two couples, from different social backgrounds, who find themselves sharing the same camp site.  John Godber is a master storyteller who delights in putting different classes together and ‘Perfect Pitch’ is a prime example of this.

Set in the 1990s, the play starts with the curtains closed and the slightly suggestive sounds of a male and female voice with lots of graphic detail - what could they possibly doing?  To save the audiences blushes and rampant imagination, the curtains open to reveal a middle class, middle-aged couple who have just been trying to drive their caravan onto their cliffside camping site.

Ron (Chris Hinkins) is a retired headmaster dressed in shorts, socks and sandals and sporting a sun hat who, along with his long-suffering wife Yvonne (Gail Hinkins), have decided to take their caravan, purchased with Ron’s early retirement fund, to Clifftop Campsite in Scarborough.  The couple have many issues which start to be steadily revealed as the play unfolds.  Ron tries to erect the caravan awning failing miserably as he doesn’t have the instructions.  Yvonne is a teetotal fitness freak who is training to compete in the marathon.  She is also a member of the local Gilbert & Sullivan society and is currently learning the score of the Mikado for their next production   The couple tease each other good naturedly over Ron’s short comings and it is apparent that he uses his wry self-deprecating sense of humour to berate his wife over her life choices. 

The couple retire to bed still bickering but when they awake the next morning, they realise they are no longer alone on their cliff top retreat.  A trashy union jack dome shaped tent has suddenly appeared with no sign of the owners.  Not to be affected by this unexpected new addition, the couple start to play ‘Nocturne’ on their cassette player only to hear strange noises coming from the tent as the other couple are obviously engaging in some vocal sexy shenanigans.   Ron and Yvonne, in typical polite middle-class etiquette, try to ignore the amorous noises by talking loudly about anything and everything.  However eventually, even Ron has to admit the situation as the tent is rocking and goes over shouting for them to ‘pack it in.’ 

When the lusty lovers do eventually emerge, they introduce themselves as Steph (Natasha Lowes) a salt of the earth young lady with a very broad accent, a revealing wardrobe and a penchant for cigarettes and her partner Grant (Dan Barrett) a taciturn man of few words sporting a football kit and clutching a loo roll on his way to the shower block.

The couple make an uneasy acceptance of each other with Yvonne and Ron calling Grant ‘Grunt’ and commenting on his animalistic nature joking he should swing on the hanging tyres in the playground.  Grant showed that he is a bit of a ‘know all’ about camping bluntly noting that Ron has forgotten to apply the caravan brake and has wrongly positioned the wastewater tank. Yvonne and Steph start to hit it off and while poring through an advertisement brochure, Steph suggests a night out in Scarborough to a ladies’ only ‘Female Fantasy Show’ but Yvonne is not to keen.

Grant lets slip that Steph has mentioned the planned outing and that she was looking forward to it and so was Yvonne.   Ron is obviously concerned but tries to laugh it off making jokes and comments like ‘don’t look’ and ‘don’t sit too close or you’ll have an eye out’ to disguise his obvious discomfort about Yvonne going to the show.  A hilarious moment in the show is when the ladies at the side of the stage are squealing over the male strippers as Ron back at the camp site slowly and matter-of-factly changes into his pyjamas.

The fall out of the stripper show has deep repercussions as Yvonne no longer sober and with no inhibitions, talks loudly and graphically about her experience.  She even acts out parts of it (a hysterical moment with a dead rabbit!) much to Ron’s horror and embarrassment.  Matters come to a head when Grant persuades Yvonne to take part in the local camp site talent contes, suggesting she sings a Dusty Springfield number, and the BBQ afterwards where simmering tensions and feelings of jealousy and sexual inadequacy come to the fore.

Throughout the play, there is an underlying sexual tension with a menace that something was going to happen.  Grant ogling Yvonne as she bends over and undercurrent of violence as Steph ends up with a black eye.  Ron has deep psychological problems stemming from bullying in his childhood and his inability to cope with his pupils.   Ron calls Yvonne a ‘raving voyeux’ and Yvonne retaliates calling him a ‘boring old fart.’  Grant further humiliates Ron by saying that Yvonne is obviously ‘not getting enough.’  The clash of cultures and classes builds to a reckoning that the toe-curling politeness of Ron and Yvonne is hiding a troubled marriage, and at the end we are left wondering if it is going to survive the experience with the more honest earthy Grant and Steph.

All leads played their parts well and maintained the Yorkshire accents and personalities of the couples.  Real life married couple, Chris and Gail, gave a lovely example of a long-suffering marriage while plastering over the deep-set cracks in their relationship.  Natasha was delightful as ‘tart with a heart’ Steph and her mannerisms made her character believable.  I especially liked her jealously when she was beaten in karaoke by the more experienced Yvonne. Natasha revealed she had sprained her ankle before the final scene but carried on regardless - what a trooper!   Dan Barrett was convincing as the arrogant border line wife beater Grant with his matter-of-fact delivery of insults at Steph and the others – but then his admission that Steph was the ‘best thing that had happened to him.’

The set was one scene with green turf and various signs adding to the feel of the campsite.  The caravan was very impressive and at a quick glance you could have believed it was a real caravan on stage.  Small details such as ventilation grills and side reflectors added to the effect.  Props were used well and were in keeping with the camping theme of the show.  I liked the use of the moon projection to indicate nighttime and the coloured lights for the nightclub scene.

Well done to director Jon Cooke, assisted by Jane Whitlock, for bringing this very bitter sweet comedy to life with a convincing cast and an eye-catching authentic set. 

© NODA CIO.  All rights reserved 

© NODA CIO. All rights reserved.