No Sex Please, We're British!

A fun mix of confusion, complication and saucy hi-jinks was on the cards as the audience crammed into Fladbury Village Hall on a hot summer’s evening for No Sex Please, We’re British.  This classic farce, written by Alistair Foot and Anthony Marriott, premiered way back in June 1971, and still remains the longest running West End comedy in British theatrical history. 

The show started to some ‘Carry on’ style music – highly appropriate to the subject matter, and working well to set the tone for the evening.  The curtains opened to reveal a striking set depicting the living room of a flat, well-constructed and featuring bright orange walls and some very appropriate ‘70s style wallpaper.  The requisite number of doors for a farce had been cleverly incorporated, and there was also a large serving hatch that occasionally slammed shut in a well-executed practical effect.  Congratulations to set designer/constructor Keith Holman, whose efforts in this area paid huge dividends in providing an effective backdrop for the action.

As the story began, we met harassed bank manager Peter (Steve Cook) and his newly-married wife Frances (Louise Seppings), swanning around in her night gown.  But their domestic bliss didn’t last long, as Peter’s mother Eleanor (Helen Jones) soon arrived, dripping with supercilious contempt and apparently planning a lengthy stay.  Things went from bad to worse as they received an order placed by Frances with a ‘Scandinavian Import Company’ which turns out to be not the expected glassware but instead a selection of salacious photographs.  This being the early 1970s, such a thing absolutely would not do, and Frances and Peter embarked on an increasingly desperate – and amusing – quest to be rid of them. 

Enlisted to help was hapless bank worker Brian Runnicles (Rob Brown, who also directed), one of those characters whose every move seems to go wrong and whose well-meaning incompetence saw him outed as a ‘Phantom pornographer’ as the farcical consequences began to spiral.  Every farce needs a willing dupe, and Rob played the part expertly.  Into the mix was then added Peter’s boss Mr Bromhead (Keith Holman) who initially appeared intimidating but frankly seemed more interested in romancing Eleanor than checking up on his staff!

Things escalated considerably into the second half, as Peter and Frances took delivery of first a set of dirty films (later accidentally sent to the local church by poor Brian) and stacks of books describing ‘1000 Perversions’, which also showed the remarkable ability to stay stuck together when lifted from the top!  Complications piled upon complications, with the cast doing a very good job of keeping the pace going, crucial in a play such as this, as the chaos accelerated. 

Mr Needham (James Woodward, resplendent in Union Jack socks and boxer shorts) arrived to audit the books, only to find himself the target of a pair of scantily clad escorts, Barbara (Ness Haller) and Susan (Lisa Cole, on double duty as assistant director), courtesy of another cock-up from the ever unreliable Brian.  The cast was rounded out by Nicholas Day as the delivery man who brought the adult materials and Sue Perry as a Police Superintendent who kept the increasingly panicked Peter and Frances on their toes.  Needless to say all was eventually resolved happily, following the liberal application of sleeping pills by Frances and the revelation of Mr Bromhead’s night-time indiscretions!

The play was well lit, with some nice practical lighting onstage, which is always appreciated.  Costume was also to a good standard and appropriate to the 1970s period in which the play is set.  At one point Brian also sported a wig and moustache that provided great comedy value!  The cast used radio mics throughout, which did unfortunately lead to a few issues with feedback and rustling noises.  But the performances were strong, full of energy and fun, with a cast clearly having a ball with the material.  As often happens, the audience responded in kind and the Hall soon resounded to their guffaws.

My congratulations to all at Fladbury Players for a great night of comedy.  Well done, and I look forward to seeing you again soon.

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