Kill Thy Neighbour

‘Kill They Neighbour’ a witty play on words of the biblical quote ‘love they neighbour,’ is a darkly humorous drama revolving around the devastating impact of the Welsh housing crisis on local communities. Written by Lucie Lovatt (who was herself a former member of the Retford Little Theatre) and produced by Stephen Walker, this is the amateur premiere of the play with kind permission of Lucie herself. The play is a homage to the type of ‘kitchen sink dramas’ of the 60s, but with a twist.  Each character is carrying the burden of long hidden, dark secret, that over the course of the play, is painfully but cathartically dragged to the surface.  

Our story starts with a prologue, delivered by estate agent Gareth (John Mitchell) in a monologue fashion, directly to the audience.  Suddenly this po-faced seriousness is shattered by the interjection of Caryl (Lesley Warburton) stating ‘they buggered off long ago’ acidly cutting through the hypocrisy of yearning for a Wales of yesteryear. Caryl is a no-nonsense Welsh woman, unafraid to speak her mind, harbouring a deep prejudice against English tourists, who she believes are responsible for turning her seaside village into a ghost town.  

She has a tongue like sandpaper stripping off the pretensions of anyone around her but targeted especially at the English interloper, Max (Nigel Winfield.)  Poor Max represents everything the prejudiced Caryl disdains and resents and, despite his friendly nature and enthusiastic attempts at Welsh pronunciation, she is deeply disapproving of him and his fancy wife Jenny.  We learn that Max and his wife are living in the home of a local artist who mysteriously disappeared two years previously, leaving all his belongings behind.  They are using the property as a holiday home and planning to have some renovations and building work done.  Max is dropping off the keys so Caryl’s husband can look out for the builders while Max joins his wife back home in England.  Caryl shouts her husband Meirion (Robert Warburton) who is a mild-mannered fisher man with the air of a man who has been the butt of his wife’s dark sarcasm for many years.

Caryl and her husband are almost the last of the original Welsh residents left in the seaside town of Port Y Graith, and Caryl is desperate to leave and sell up before the government introduces a planned cap on second homes and holiday lets. She has therefore arranged for the local estate agent to come along and give a valuation with a view to sell, but we get the impression that, despite the obvious lack of local facilities, Meirion does not wish to sell the property, and he studiously ignores him while engrossed on his laptop. His family have lived there for generations, and his stubbornness to sell infuriates Caryl. 

Their relationship is beautifully demonstrated with their constant chiding of each other for example, when Meirion goes to the toilet, she asks whether he has washed his hands, and he replies he didn’t need to as he was about to do the washing up!  Meirion calls Caryl ‘a drama queen’ over her recent hospitalisation for gallstones.  At this point, we seem to be merely observing a typical long-term marital relationship, but something sinister is simmering deep under the surface.  Mysterious muddy fingerprints keep appearing on the glass window of the kitchen door which itself keeps mysteriously opening by itself and the radio cassette switches itself on at random.

Out of the blue, their estranged daughter Seren (Sarah Woodwards) arrives, bearing Christmas presents and another surprise of her own! She opens her coat to reveal that she is five months pregnant.  Seren explains it is a sperm donor from Norway resulting in a hilarious reference to Vikings! I loved the interplay between mother and daughter who, despite her age, reverts to acting like a teenager resulting in squabbles and arguments.  Seren and her mother clash over selling the house, with Caryl observing bitterly that she only wants to inherit and has no intention of living there but would condemn them to a life of misery. Again, Meirion is the go between tactfully soothing things over stating that at least there won’t be any grandparents to share the baby with. 

Another scene change, handled with ninja like efficiency by the stage crew, and we see Meirion sitting at the kitchen table intently studying a canvas which he has retrieved from the loft of the artist’s former home.  He questions Caryl on her return home and reveals that the painting is of a nude torso in shades of blue.  Meirion recognises the woman in the painting and observes bitterly ‘your tits look better in real life.’  This is the first secret revealed, but it in turn, opens a proverbial can of worms, as deeper revelations are exposed, including the exact gruesome fate of Glynn the painter.

Some incredibly strong performances from everyone on stage, the Welsh accents never faltered, and their gentle cadences made the dialogue almost musical as it rhythmically ebbed and flowed.  Well done to Lesley as Caryl, it was wonderful to see the protective layers of her resentment being slowly peeled away as she revealed her own deep, dark shameful secret. Robert was fantastic as her long-suffering husband Meirion, carrying his guilt like a heavy weight.  I loved his anger at his wife’s betrayal and his gentle nurturing towards his daughter and their new baby granddaughter.  Both actors created entirely believable characters, and we shared their anguish as their personal truths were finally revealed. 

Sarah was lovely as mum to be Seren concealing a dark disturbing past trauma.  She told her story with lots of visceral detail which made it a harrowing experience to listen to.  Nigel as Max was good as the ‘foreigner’ who was eventually welcomed into the heart of the family and John Mitchell played a good supporting role, finally revealing the true character of the odious Glynn the Painter.    

The set was full of lots of wonderful details that reflected the personality of the couple and their accumulation of junk over the years: such as a shelf containing a selection of cooking utensils and an assortment of lidded Pyrex dishes and lots of fishing paraphernalia, such as creels, fishing floats and waterproof coats. There were realistic but dated kitchen equipment and doors leading off to the upstairs and a toilet with accompanying sound effects.  Stage crew moved soundlessly during blackouts to replace various items creating the passage of time which was highly effective.  Costumes were appropriate to the characters with thick woolly jumpers and hats for Caryl and Meirion, a lovely leopard print onesie for Seren and a themed T-shirt for Gareth. 

The use of Welsh arias and traditional Welsh music was perfectly selected and used effectively during scene changes, and other sound effects added to the overall ambience. Lighting was used well so the whole stage was well lit and used to create the effect of changing from daytime to night.  There was also a painted back drop (created by Andy Massey) visible through the window and kitchen door featuring a slate roof and a country scene. 

Congratulations to Stephen Walker and his team for securing the rights to perform this wonderful play which kept us guessing right to the end with a very clever twist.  I also had the pleasure of chatting to Lucie’s parents after the show who revealed some interesting background information about their daughter’s play. 

Thank you to Cody McGinty, for another warm welcome to Retford Little Theatre. I also had the opportunity to chat to Lesley Warburton who played Caryl after the show.  Well done to all and I look forward to seeing the next production. ‘Shelia’s Island’ in May.   

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