Death Who's Coming To Dinner!

Who doesn’t love a murder mystery and the chance to solve a hideous crime and pretend to be a sleuth cracking the case?  Kei Bailey and Laura Griffin have composed a delightfully witty comedy drama with the bonus that the audience gets to use their powers of deduction to find the perpetrator of a grisly murder.  Directed by Mel Priestley, we were treated to an immersive dining experience as honoured guests of Lord and Lady Straddle, with the provision of a delicious three course meal cooked to perfection by members of the Hale Magna Village Hall, Great Hale Committee.

From the moment we arrived, we were transported back in time to the 1930s.  The costumed cast (an assortment of maids, kitchen staff, footmen and gardeners) all wearing comedy name badges and completely in character, mingled freely with the audience.  Humping the Gardener was selling raffle tickets and Mrs Sourmilk was going around the tables checking we weren’t pilfering the family silver.  

David O’Brien playing Slowbottom The Butler, was our maître d’ for the evening who welcomed us, with an air of grandiosity, to the ancestral home of Lord and Lady Straddle, Withering Heights. Slowbottom then informed us of the housekeeping rules for the evening - reminding us to switch off our mobile phones during the performance and share any photos on social media – whatever that was.  

First, we meet Lord Cornelius P Straddle played by Stuart Wyle with his tongue firmly in his cheek, filling out a crossword puzzle with euphemistic clues that had the audience giggling at the outrageous double-entendres.  He even had a befuddled look as he innocently ruminated over the possible answers.  Next, we meet his long-suffering wife Lady Florence played with strait-laced haughtiness by Colette Buchanan-Gray who is stressing over her new charity while rebuking her husband over his forthcoming speech. 

While they are talking, we notice the surreptitious actions of a young maid who is trying to access the bureau.  She claims she can’t read but seems determined to rifle through Lord Straddle’s personal effects.  This is Eliza Muxlow (played by Hannah Priestley) a scullery maid with a pronounced cockney accent who innocently offers to run an iron over Lord Straddle’s ‘dicky.’  

Enter Sir Wellington Ottertrot, Lord Straddle’s cocktail loving cousin (Kei Bailey on top form -nice to see him out a dress for a change!) and his partner in crime Jo Warrick as Lady Semolina Spleenwax, Lady Straddle’s squiffy sister.  These two characters love life and delight in playing fun games ‘Let’s play funeral or bedroom?’ and quaffing copious amounts of alcohol.  Another character enters brought in by Ethel the maid.  This is the snobbish Dowager Countess Boadicea Trumpington (Jenni Chamberlain giving her best Lady Bracknell) aunt to Lady Straddle, dripping with jewels and furs with an air of grandiosity. 

More characters enter.  Mrs Joyce Sourmilk the down to earth family housekeeper (Sue Fletcher) and finally Miss Charity Plimsoll (Laura Davies) the parish verger dressed to the nines for the occasion.  She and Mrs Sourmilk are good friends and engage in a risqué conversation about gardening filled with double entendre.   

So, the wheels are set in motion.  Eliza is caught listening at keyholes and both her and Wellington seem to have an unhealthy interest in the papers on the bureau.  Even Lady Semolina tells Eliza that she thinks she recognises her.  While Eliza is alone in the study, we see a gloved hand protruding from the bookcase.  Eliza obviously recognises this mystery assassin saying they will have to ‘silence me over my dead body.’  The assassin agrees and Eliza is shot dead in cold blood.   The curtain falls and Slowbottom informs us that our first course is ready to be served.

After a delicious bowl of vegetable soup, the curtain rises on two new characters. Sergeant Honeycrisp (Ben Green) and Inspector Hugh Dunnit, Glen Barker in hilarious form as the incompetent sleuth.  We soon get the grasp of the relationship between Honeycrisp and the Inspector who, despite his senior position, is an incompetent buffoon much to Honeycrisp’s despair.  The Inspector, a cross between the clumsiness of Clouseau and the incompetence of Inspector Pratt, blunders around the scene of the crime, damaging ornaments and tactlessly making comments about the copious amounts of blood reducing poor Ethel the kitchen maid (Kelly Anderson) to tearful hysterics.

The Inspector carries an oversized black notebook and wears a moustache like Hercule Poirot, but his little grey cells are definitely absent!  He paraphrases Honeycrisp’s comments and prevaricates so much that Wellington makes a fourth wall breaking comment quipping that we will be late having our ‘mains.’ 

Inspector Dunnit then proceeds to individually interrogate each suspect resulting in him claiming that each one is the murderer.  Lord Straddle misinterprets the word ‘impression’ and gives a hilarious impersonation of Eliza the murder victim complete with actions and cockney accent.  We soon learn that the mysterious papers on the bureau are Lord Straddle’s Last Will and Testament.  But why would both Wellington and Eliza have such an interest in the Will?  As we head towards the end of Act 2, we glean more information about the residents as sordid secrets and scandals rise to the surface.  

By Act 3 we learn of illicit relationships and a hint that some of the characters are not quite what they seem.  We even get another murder but whodunnit?  While we are having dessert, we get the chance to exercise our own little grey cells by predicting the murderer and motive.

All the cast were wonderful in their portrayal of the residents, staff and guests.  The script was a Downton Abbey meets Upstairs Downstairs mash-up and was reminiscent of the humorous innuendo of a Two Ronnie’s sketch.  Indeed, it was lovely to see this gentler kind of humour harking back to a more innocent time with the cast performing dead pan to an audience with very dirty minds!

The acting experience of the actors shone through like one of the Dowager’s diamond tiaras as their witty repartee bantered and fizzed like one of Wellington’s suspect cocktails.  This plot had more red herrings than Billingsgate fish market.  Lots of standout moments almost too many to mention.

Stuart Wyle was gloriously camp as the philandering Lord Cornelius P Straddle (‘the P is silent or frozen’) giving knowing glances to the audience while admitting he was ‘polishing his disposition in the drawing room’.  Colette as his wife was the epitome of the lady of the house carrying herself with dignity and decorum and kept her composure till the very end.  Hannah was superb as Eliza, a short part but very well done we really got the suspicious nature of her character.  Kelly Anderson was lovely as Ethel the Maid, nursing a broken heart and her facial expressions were excellent.  Jenni Chamberlain was enjoyable as the Dowager with a dark secret and her inadvertent contribution to the game of Bedroom or Dinner Party ‘have we finished yet?’ coupled with her bemusement at the lesbian relationships was well done.  

Sue Fletcher was good as the loyal housekeeper Mrs Sourmilk and Lord Straddle’s lover, delighting in gossip but stopped in her tracks by poisoned tea so taking her secrets to her grave.  Laura Davies played the uptight Miss Plimsoll well and her mime as she tried to explain the technicalities of a lesbian relationship was priceless.  Ben Green was first-rate as the long-suffering side kick to the Inspector. I especially liked the way he paraphrased everything giving his ruminations on the case.  He was the true detective but was far to modest and aware of his position to take the credit, gently admonishing the Inspector allowing him to shine.  

Special mention goes to Kei as co-author and the foppish Sir Wellington Ottertrot, his relationship with Lady Semolina provided much of the humour as he didn’t take anything seriously. His one-liners came quick and fast, and his alibi was he was having ‘sex in the driveway’ which turned out to be one of his dubiously named cocktails was very funny.  I loved the outrageous games with Lady Semolina and they both looked like they were having far too much fun in their roles!  His partner in crime, Jo Warrick was amazing as Lady Semolina, a perfect caricature of an upper-class empty-headed filly sloshed on gin and seemingly totally oblivious to the seriousness of the murders.  

Finally, our would-be sleuth Scotland Yard’s less than finest – Glen Barker as Inspector Dunnit.  This was a fantastic performance from Glen who has created a believable character in the incompetent, tactless Dunnit.  I loved his permanently bemused expression as he tried desperately to piece together the clues unfolding around him.  The part where he innocently turned on the music by bumping into the gramophone during the more poignant moments was very funny and his total bemusement at the sapphic relationships and his reaction to Miss Plimsoll’s suggestive mime was hilarious.

Another special mention goes to the supporting cast of understairs staff who worked tirelessly to provide us with our three-course meal.  Well done!

The set was stunning, and I loved the detail of ornaments and the illusion of shelves of books.  The furniture added to the overall period setting and I liked the two-level staging spilling out into the audience.  Costumes were excellent and the attention to detail was very well done.  The ladies were dressed appropriately to their station, for example Lady Straddle wore an exquisite, beaded gown and the maids were dressed in black with white starched aprons.  Mrs Sourmilk wore a plaid dress with a leather bag attached to her waist and Miss Plimsoll wore long white gloves.  The men were immaculate in evening dress and the constabulary, including the Policeman on the door, wore uniforms appropriate to the period.

All in all, a fantastic evening thoroughly enjoyed by all.  I loved the little attentions to detail on the tables including the paperwork with character bios with an authentic red seal and props used as possible clues.

It was lovely to meet the director Mel Priestley and Kei Bailey after the show and, some of the cast members.  Thank you for another warm welcome and an incredible night’s entertainment.  Whodunnit?  My partner was thrilled to have worked it out but I’m not telling!

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