Bunkered

Well, this was an unusual play, to say the least, indeed it was quite bizarre, and very funny – another great choice for Compton’s autumn ‘dinner theatre’ production. It is set in a Naval Intelligence Cold War bunker somewhere on the south coast of Britain, in 2011. Supposedly decommissioned by the Navy in 1991, it is still doggedly manned by 4 naval personnel, in the meantime nearing retirement. They don their uniforms every day, go to the bunker, follow naval protocol, and do, basically, nothing. For some reason, communication between naval departments has been sketchy, to say the least, and the four are still being paid their salaries. Obviously, they are keen not to rock any boats, in order to be able to quietly retire when their time comes, on their full naval pension. What could possibly go wrong?

Compton Village Hall is a marvellous venue, and I have never seen it other than completely full. There is always a real buzz, a great atmosphere. For their ‘dinner theatre’ events they always try to give the tables an appropriate name. In this case all tables were given the name of one of the coastal Cold War bunker radar stations, for example Ventnor, Fairlight and Portland. This attention to detail is one of the things that make these annual events so special, here in Compton. This year things were slightly different from normal, in that the kitchen was out of action, so instead of being fed, we were encouraged to bring our own food, picnic style. This worked very well.

Compton is very fortunate indeed to have their own very talented set artist, Pat Williams, who created a wonderfully painted bunker – noticeboards; fuse boxes; ancient electric wiring; a map; a picture of our late Queen; an air vent; shelves with an oxo tin and other paraphernalia on them, all painted onto the walls. Fascinating. Outside the bunker on either side were, I think, sandbags and bits of landscape, shrubs etc. Marvellous! There were a table and chairs, more shelves stacked with electronic equipment, a coat stand, quite a few storm lamps, and an alarm lamp that flashed red. The entrance was a wide, heavy-seeming sliding door to the rear of the stage. A large red exit sign with arrow was painted on the wall behind that. Lighting and sound were very atmospheric and effective throughout.

Our four naval people had uniforms, though a fairly relaxed attitude to the wearing of them, naturally enough, as they were never needed to be on display. For example Mags usually wore a chunky, cosy brightly striped long cardigan over hers.

The action began with Peter (Noel Ruddy) escorting local electrician and chirpy chappy Harry (Robin Matthews), who he had blindfolded, down into the bunker, which of course Harry had no idea existed, so that he could sort out the electronics. Harry’s sister Joan (Gemma Taylor), one of the Wrens, was astonished and cross that Peter had brought him there. Harry, to everyone’s irritation, took great delight in taking the mickey out of the others. Robin Matthews made Harry a very real, cheeky observer of all the goings on, and had great comic timing. Lots of tea was made, toilets were cleaned, the carrier pigeons attended to, and Mags proceeded to adjust her daughter’s wedding dress. Mandy Scully, as Mags, had a great Northern accent, I’m assuming it’s not her own, and she kept it up admirably throughout. In order to hem the dress, she made Peter put it on and stand on a chair. As Harry fiddled with the equipment, of course, he set off an alarm or two, the power went off, and the storm lamps went on. Dusty manuals were finally located. I think a game of scrabble appeared.

Finally the navy was alerted to unexpected developments at the, as they thought, abandoned facility. Luckily a group of recruits was training nearby, so their commander Connor was sent in with a young recruit, Taylor, in full combat gear, brandishing their scary looking machine guns, to investigate. Chaos ensued. Connor (Amy Aiello) was of a nervous disposition, was claustrophobic, and thus had a panic attack. To calm her down, Joan gave her a tablet (a cat-worming one, the only one she had in her handbag at the time!) Connor promptly collapsed, and young Taylor (Nikki Harish) proved to be far more resourceful than her boss. The action continued at a fast pace, the humour was slick and very well brought out. Peter was still in his frock on the chair and so on.  The place went into lockdown, a carrier pigeon was sent to the rescue and fetched the fourth member of the team, Bill (Steven Webb).

In the midst of all this chaos, the Commodore Shelton (Julia Grant) appeared. Uniform jackets were hastily put on, the game was up. However Joan recognised Shelton from their early days together in the Wrens, and all ended well. Director Rachel Jenner had assembled a good, well-balanced cast, so the whole evening went with a swing. Well done, again, Compton Little Theatre, for brightening up our autumn evenings!

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