Agatha Crusty and the Health Spa Murders

Agatha Crusty and the Health Spa Murders is one of a series of plays by Derek Webb that poke gentle fun at the Agatha Christie genre of murder mystery. People are dropping dead all around, everyone is a suspect, the incompetent policeman doesn’t have a clue, but a little old lady, modelled on Christie herself, saves the day and reveals the murderer. In this instance, the setting is the Seventh Heaven health spa where a fashion house sales team are being rewarded with a spa weekend, only to find themselves the victims of the rejected lover of the Spa’s owner.

Director Peter Clarke’s ambition to put on this play has been thwarted over the last two years by Covid, which also very nearly caused it to be cancelled at the last minute when two cast members fell victim to the cruel virus. Thankfully Clarke has assembled a strong cast of experienced actors and he, together with another company member (more later), bravely rescued the show.

Steven Penfold as DI Simon Aster coped so well with a script that made him W his Rs and come out with a multitude of malapropisms. The many cringeworthy jokes became almost surreal when mixed with the Russian Therapist’s misuse of English idioms. Never once did we feel the DI would solve the case on his own, so step forward Sue Bartlett as the redoubtable Agatha Crusty (pronounced Croosty), coincidentally at the Spa to refresh her creative juices. Sue was every inch the fluffy old lady with a mind like a bacon slicer, staying in the background but noticing the clues that passed everyone else by. Chris Wrein as Spa owner Andy Eden made a good genial host but was particularly effective when angry. Laura Renshaw, Valerie Bird, Annie North, Samara Said and Jo Webb, had all developed their characters well, showing great individuality and the competitive bitchiness you would expect to find in such a sales team.

Heroes of the hour were Peter Clarke, who stood in for Dylan Gover as the Russian Therapist Dmitri Popov, and Sophie Nickerson who took over Sonia Davies-Hill’s role as Abigail Griggleswick. As both were Spa staff members, their clipboards holding the script did not look out of place, but both were hardly referring to the words and portraying their characters extremely well, especially Sophie who was spot on with Abigail’s Sloane Ranger character and vocal mannerisms. Huge well done to both of you.

An excellent, simple set depicting the Spa’s lounge, was the setting for the whole play, allowing scene changes to be just a blackout, and keeping the action moving along quickly. Costumes too were always appropriate to the characters and setting, and the picture was completed by strong lighting and sound effects.

Well done Phoenix Players for triumphing over considerable adversity to bring us a great evening’s entertainment which was hugely enjoyed by the packed house.

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